Spring Rejections: How Small 'No's' Can Lead to A Changed Life

Heather Drewett
May 25
4 min read

Updated: Jun 4

There's something about spring that makes me want to try things.

Maybe it's the light coming back. Maybe it's the way the air smells different and your whole nervous system whispers, okay, we survived another winter.

Whatever it is, I find myself feeling a little braver this time of year - and also a little more willing to sit with the uncomfortable stuff that bravery sometimes brings.

Like rejection.

Oof. Even typing that word gives me a little flutter in my chest.

But here's what I've been thinking about lately: what if rejection isn't the thing we're supposed to avoid?

What if it's actually one of the quieter, more underrated forms of healing?

Let me tell you a story.

The pitch that didn't land

A couple of years ago, I worked up the courage to pitch something I'd been sitting on for months.

I'd written the email probably forty times. I'd talked myself out of sending it probably fifty.

And then one morning - before I could overthink it again - I hit send.

The answer was no.

Politely, warmly, genuinely kindly - but still no. And I sat with that for a minute (okay, a day).

And then something strange happened: I felt lighter.

The thing I'd been carrying around - all that what if I try and they say no anxiety - was just... gone.

Because the thing I was most afraid of had happened, and I was still sitting there.

Still breathing. Still me.

The no hadn't broken anything.

Saying no - and meaning it

Here's the other side of this coin, and honestly the one I've had to practice even harder: being the one to say no.

For a long time, I was a world-class yes person.

Yes to the volunteer commitment I didn't have bandwidth for.

Yes to the family event I needed to skip.

Yes to the coworker who needed "just one more thing" on a Friday afternoon.

Saying no felt like letting people down.

Like being selfish. Like closing a door that maybe I needed to keep open.

But here's what I've learned through a lot of trial, error, and one very honest conversation with myself: every time I said yes when I meant no, I was slowly making myself smaller.

I was teaching the people around me that my time and energy were infinitely available.

And I was quietly resenting everyone for it - which, if we're being honest, isn't fair to anyone.

The first time I said a real, clear, kind no to someone I loved? My heart pounded.

They were fine. We were fine. And I felt like I'd handed myself something back.

Putting yourself out there is the whole point

I think we've been taught - especially those of us raised to be agreeable, helpful, not-too-much - that the goal is to avoid rejection.

Don't ask for the raise if you're not sure you'll get it.

Don't share the creative project if it might be criticized.

Don't suggest the idea if it might fall flat.

But that's not living. That's just managing.

The ask itself is the brave thing.

Whether the answer is yes or no almost doesn't matter - what matters is that you showed up.

You named what you wanted. You took yourself seriously enough to try.

And here's the tender truth: sometimes the no leads somewhere better.

The pitch that didn't land freed me up for something that fit me more.

The invitation I declined created space for someone who actually wanted to be there.

The ask that got turned down reminded me what I actually valued enough to ask for.

Rejection, it turns out, is just information. And sometimes it's the most clarifying information there is.

Craving a little guidance? I created a digital journal built around one idea: that courage grows slowly, gently, and with practice. It'll walk you through rejection, nudge you to ask for more, and help you start making small, brave requests of yourself - no pressure, just gentle nudges in the right direction, one day at a time. Take a look here.

Your turn - a little journaling invitation

If any of this is landing for you, I'd love to invite you into a small experiment this week. Grab your journal — or the notes app on your phone, or a napkin, I really don't care - and try one of these prompts:

The small ask: Is there something you've been wanting to ask for — at work, from a friend, from yourself - but haven't? Write about what's holding you back. What's the actual worst case if the answer is no?
The no you need to give: Is there something you've said yes to that you really meant no to? What would it feel like to change that answer, even now?
A rejection you survived: Think of a time you were told no and lived to tell the tale. What did you learn? What opened up afterward?
The thing you haven't tried: What's one thing you've been sitting on because you're afraid of how it'll land? Write it down. Give it a name. Sometimes just naming the thing you want is its own little act of courage.